(I'm having a bit of a shit day)
Felisia: "I want candy."
KC: "I want sex and candy... (sings) yeaaa."
Felisia: "Ugh, the smell of sex and candy actually seems kind of gross."
KC: "Yeah, that sounds nasty. I want sex and candy, not concurrently."

Who:	lisiT, KC (more info…)

(An incredibly drunk guy at a bar tries to grope me, only to be stared down by my brother. He stumbles away, but then returns later)
Drunk Guy: (whispers) "Everything is real... but nothing is."

Eric: "So I got kindle on my phone. So I can read Dracula anywhere! It's pretty awesome. Mel Brooks ruined the plot for me though."
Me: "Technically, I can read Dracula anywhere too, you know."
Eric: "But do you bring it around in your pocket anywhere?"
Me: "Yep. Because women have these biiig pockets. We call them "purses"."
Eric: "Yeah...well..you're stupid! So there!"

Who:	lisiT, Eric (more info…)

Me: "Is it bad that I just laughed at this life alert commercial about an old lady falling down in the shower?"
Eric: "Yes. Yes it is... Doesn't make it not funny though."
Me: "I mean, if that happened to me, I would first be really angry, and then find it incredibly funny because you're laying naked in the shower and are incapable of standing. I'm just imagining laying there and being like, "Heeeeeelp."
Eric: "I'm naked and I can't get up."

Who:	lisiT, Eric (more info…)

(my brother and I are channel surfing)
Me: "Hah, I just went from Lord of The Rings to 40 Year Old Virgin."
Amado: "...Not the first time that sentence has been uttered."

Who:	lisiT (more info…)

Around 6pm:
Adam: Going on a date. Any inspiring words?
Mackey: Adam doesn't want to be fed, he wants to hunt. You can't just suppress 26 years of gut instinct

11:30pm
Adam: You win at dating advice
Mackey: ...Does that imply my text was somehow indicative of how it went?
Mackey: Was she a goat?!

Who:	adamg,  mmackey (more info…)

Ben: "So hey, can you do me a favor?"
Felisia: "I don't know, dude, what do you need?"
Ben: "So when I leave to go to the airport, just shout 'GET TO THE CHOPPAH!'"
Felisia: "No, that's stupid and embarrassing."
Ben: "Oh come on, who cares if its embarrassing. My motto is 'Never be afraid to look like a complete jackass.' ...Which is why I often look like a complete jackass."
Me: "And you're ROLLIN IN THE PUSSY."

Who:	lisiT, Ben (more info…)

Me: Shia Lebouf isn't really a horrible actor, but I'm kind of sick of seeing him. Plus he ruined the memory of Indiana Jones and Transformers...he basically ruined my childhood.

Adam: I'm sure hitler wasn't a horrible tenis player, but there are still some things I hold against him.

Who:	adamg (more info…)

Mom: "We could D & D here so easily."
Felisia: "What? What do you mean D & D."
Mom: "Dine and dash of course!"
Felisia: "Mom!"

Who:	lisiT (more info…)

(mom and dad are telling me about when they first met)
Dad: "I tried not to smother you with too much attention."
Felisia: "Yeah, you just stood back and acted coool, right dad?"
Mom: "It could be interpreted as being aloof, but I don't think that dad knew what that meant."

Who:	lisiT, mom, dad (more info…)